leaving

Two days ago I left my mom and dad to come home.  That was a hard one.  I got a call from Kellie- she does mom's hair every six weeks (cut or perm).  I was relieved to hear that she too has noticed quite a decline in mom since Christmas.

At Christmas she could still kind of have a conversation with someone - not much but a little bit.  Kellie said she couldn't even have a conversation with mom -- so she just had to talk TO her, not with her during her perm.  Kellie is about the sweetest lady ever and I love her dearly.  She has been so very good to mom (and dad)

I'm going to look into having someone (or a combination of people) come in to help mom and dad each day.  I think dad is really stressed out for his wife has become his child.  It's been a long time since dad had to be a parent!  He is just having a hard time remembering that SHE cannot remember anything.

In two weeks I'll go back to Idaho and clean out mom's closet - she is SUCH a clothes horse.  Mom loved clothes and dad loved to buy them for her. They use to love to go shopping together; mom was a lucky lady to be with a man that liked to shop. But they were never lavish in their spending and mom loved a GOOD sale.  She taught me well.  Start at the back of the store and work your way to the front!   Mom has too many choices of clothes now. I am going to whittle it down to a few pairs of pants and some warm tops for winter ('cause it's FREEZING there).  Then, 3 church outfits.  This will make things a bit easier.  She's at the point where she has favorites and she wears them over and over again.

Leaving Idaho was hard the other day -- I am left wondering what the next 2 weeks holds for them and if my mom will level out or she is still on a downhill slope.

Who's on first?

So, yesterday I was in the back seat of the car with mom and dad as we drove to town.  I have to start by saying that mom's struggle with language at times causes her to mumble because she is unsure that what she is saying makes sense.  She will mix words up or make up new ones to fill in the blanks.  Then, my dad forgets his hearing aids most of the time  and mom can't hear out of one ear, so here's the scene:

Mom:   Gee the snow is so pretty, it just looks like......uh....."mumble mumble mumble"......
Dad:    What?
Mom:  (silence)
Dad:    What did you say?
Mom:   Are you talking to me?
Dad:    What?
Mom:   (blank stare)
Dad:     What did you say?
Mom:   Did I say something?
Dad:     I think you did
Mom:   I did?   Huh...............
  AWKWARD SILENCE SETS IN
Me:  So, wasn't that lunch at Cafe' Rio amazing?  

And so the story goes.  It was actually kind of cute and endearing to watch this conversation.  My parents love each other so very much.  My dad tries to be patient but many times he says things like "where did you put.....",  remember so and so from you know where" -- things that cause her to remember and yet she can't remember.  This is a big struggle right now as I have to keep reminding him that she can't remember.  Oh joy.

So for those of you who know mom and dad - you know how stinkin' cute they are! 

The beginning of the end

I truly believe that my mom's Alzheimer started to set in when she and my father were serving a mission  in Budapest, Hungary - back in 2003-2005.  When mom came home, she just wasn't the same lady.  She was happy to be home but something was different in her.  She was more easily agitated and a little paranoid.  She told my dad one day that i was "out to get her".......

I've spent the last several years watching her struggle with little things like trying to figure out portions of food to serve when having company for dinner.  Now for those of you who know Kay, she was a lady who liked to entertain and did it well.  And - it was ALL ABOUT THE FOOD.  All of a sudden she started showing up with brownies (to add to my dinner) instead of the agreed upon Green beans.   Or she'd bring beans, but enough for 2 people and we were feeding 8.

Then we moved to mismatched outfits - SO not my mother!  No make -up, but red lipstick.  I noticed her hair was becoming a huge struggle for her and that she just could not make it "look right" anymore.

I was starting to recognize some behaviors that my dear sweet Grandma had in her early stages of this terrible disease.  It was here--- she had been struck.

They have been home from their mission for 6 years now so I guess you could say that mom's had this for 6 years.  wow.  Most people didn't even notice it at first because it just manifested itself with a few little things that just a few of us noticed.

Now, she many times cannot carry on a conversation.  The words go -- or they never come to begin with-- or they come and they are wrong.

Here is a woman who use to do some catering, receptions, teach, administrate -- now she cannot fix a sandwich.  This is a terrible disease.

She is on 2 drugs for Alzheimers and one anti depressant (which has been great).  She is generally pretty happy and can laugh at her mistakes.  Some day- this too will go.

She is loved by so many -- and it's my hopes that through this blog, the many people who love her can share their thoughts and memories of and about her.  And follow us through these last few years of her life.  To me, she is dying, slowly.    And then she'll die again.  I love her and I'm grateful for this chance to take care of her -- I am learning a lot about life and what's really important.  I guess that only happens when we have adversity and trials, right?