Kay was born
in Salt Lake City on September 10, 1934.
She was the first child born to Mervin and Winnona Brown- but the second
child of 3 to complete this family. Her father was from Provo and her mother,
Springville. She had an older Brother Jerry from her
mother's first marriage and a young sister, Barbara born a few years after
her. Kay's parents, had a rough start in
life with the families very against this marriage -- but Mervin and Nonie were
determined to make a life together so they forged forward - running away to Salt Lake City
to be married and starting a new life there - living with loving extended
family members. I can only imagine that
when mom was born that my grandparents were the happiest couple on earth.
Mom's humble
beginnings started the day of her birth at Holy Cross Hospital in Salt Lake
City. Her parents were so poor that they
could not pay the bill and thus this was my mothers first time to be a
recipient of charity. The nuns gathered
some baby clothes for them to take home - another act of charity. She must have been aware some how of this
because my mother has always been about "doing for others".
Kay's parents
wanted to name her Penny, but because of the controlling nature of the parents
- they were forbidden. Why? No one knows.
But my mother honored her parents dream and gave me that special
blessing to carry a name so loved by her parents.
My mother was
a small little girl and her Grandmother
at one point when Kay came to stay with her for a while, asked her if her
mother fed her. My mother tended to be a
sickly girl - from allergies and whopping cough and measles along with horrid case of trench mouth
as a little girl - months of a purely liquid diet and eventually they wanted to remove all her
teeth. Her father gave her a priesthood
blessing after months of her battling this with no relief and of course, she
was healed and was able to keep all her teeth which made her one happy little
girl.
My mother 's
early beginnings were very humble surroundings - with her father being a jack
of all trades and very resourceful and handy with many skills and her mother working
as a maid for some prominent Jewish families in Salt Lake City. They didn't have much but you'd never know
it. My mother, when writing her personal
history expressed so much gratitude for everything little thing she had. They moved a lot when she was very little and
she had fond memories of all the places she lived and people she was able to
cross paths with - even as a tiny child.
From living
in various places in Salt Lake to moving all the way to Payson where my great
grandfather owned Maple Dell - living in
a very meager cabin. Maple Dell was a
rustic summer camp that he was trying to turn into a business venture. My great
grandfather sold this to the BSA where
it serves as a widely used camp property today.
After years
of being away from the immediate family my grandparents returned to Provo with
their family of 5. My mother has some
great memories of that short time of her life as there were lots of relatives
close by and many family gatherings.
Mom attended Timpangos Elementary school but not for long. Her father got a better job opportunity and
they packed up and moved to Mc Minnville Oregon - a long way from friends and
family in Utah. I imagine from my
mothers memories she has shared that there was still stress among the
grandparents over this marriage and financially challenged little family and so
moving a way was survival for them.
From a brief
9 months in McMinnville to Roseburg Oregon -- they just were on the move,
looking for ways to improve their lives.
Mom's family spent a few years in Roseburg and she loved it. However, their family were the only Mormon's
in town so they attended another church and mom recieved good training in the
bible while there.... at one point, there was a push for people to be baptized
and mom went to her father to tell him she wanted to be baptized. This was such a pivitol point in their
family. My grandfather did not want her to be baptized outside of our LDS faith so he contacted a family friend
in Eugene - which was 70 miles away (that was a long drive back then) he, being
a bishop arranged for the family to come up and have her interviewed and Kay
was baptized by her father. (from her journal) Daddy felt a real need for us to attend
our own church and discovered that there was another member family that had
moved to Roseberg. We started having church with them. We rented the Women's Club on Main Street and
held church there. Daddy requested that
the missionaries come there and they did. The little Branch of Roseberg began. ( One summer when my husband and I were
returning from a vacation to the Northwest, We went through Roseberg and saw
the beautiful ward building. What a thrill to see what had grown from a little
girl's request for baptism.)
Years later
when my parents lived in Washington (the 1980's-1990's) my mother's path
crossed with this Bishop who interviewed her for baptism in the Seattle temple
- both my parents and this "bishop of long ago" and his wife were
temple workers. It was wonderful for them to catch up and I'm sure it warmed
this mans heart to know that this little girl from Roseburg really did have a
testimony and it grew.
As a young
girl, my mother really struggled in school - it was so very hard for her. And so, I take from her personal history ---
My
friend Karen got glasses and I used to pray on my way to school that I could
wear glasses, too. I remember I had to always sit near the front of the class
in order to see the chalk board. My teacher suggested that my parents have my
eyes checked and sure enough I was very near sighted and my prayers were
answered, I got glasses too. I then discovered a whole world of things. Trees
had leaves, Movies were very clear and not just a blur, and there were really
things written on the chalk board.
Reading became much easier as I had to be taught all over again how to
read.
With multiple
moves in her early educational years and serious vision issues -- her
challenges were understandable. But my
mother had something special within her that most all of her teachers saw. She had a great love of music and drama. She was so very blessed to have such
insightful teachers in her life that gave her opportunities to shine outside of
the typical academic arena. If there was
a play, skit, song or dance to be done - she was going to do it.
About the
time mom hit 6th grade another big move came into her life - Her father had
been offered a great job in Oakland California and off they went. With his past
experience in sales my grandfather actually became a "shoe salesman"
in a very upscale shoe store in San Francisco.
My grandmother and all her experience was able to obtain a job in the prestigious "Tea Room" at Capwell's.
More changes. Another new School.
Meeting new friends.
Oakland became her "home". And once again, she was blessed with many
wonderful and insightful teachers who loved her and appreciated her differences
- always allowing her room to shine in the areas that were her talents. It was in Oakland that their family first
attended a "real LDS ward" and she loved it.
Mom's years
in Oakland were such a blessing in her life.
While her family was not an affluent one, they managed to live in an
affluent area and associate with some wonderful people - in and out of our LDS
culture. Mom attended Piedmont High
school which was a college preparatory school. During this time her father had a nervous
breakdown and her family fell away from the church - all except mom. Her mother
had to get a second job with a catering
company and life just got very stressful and busy. But mom had made so many wonderful
friendships with her peers and leaders at church that she made the effort each Sunday to take 2-3 buses just to get there. She was blessed with many leaders
and parents of friends who kept her strong and involved those years and they
became lifelong friends. What a
testimony that is to the power of relationships and serving others.
This was the
time when the church started Stake Youth
Dances and my mother was in heaven!
Dancing -- her favorite thing to do.
Rumor has it that she danced a mean Charleston and Lindy swing and when
she and her dance partner hit the floor - everyone backed away to watch. Mom truly had wonderful teen years
"despite a few bumps and bruises" as she said. Her first real job was as an usherette in the
Piedmont Theater and then later at Capwell's as a gift wrap girl. I think she loved this job and she carried
that knowledge with her through out her life - she always loved wrapping gifts
and making such beautiful bows!
Upon high school graduation mom started attending
the UC Berkley Institute of Religion with her best friend Shirlee. Shirlee was one of the biggest blessings in
her life as I truly believe that Shirlee was her lifeline to the gospel. Shirlee's mother Fran held a special place in
my mothers heart as Fran gave her the spiritual things that her own mother could
not -- that friendship with Shirlee was a deep one lasting through out their
adult lives until Shirlee passed away a few years ago. Mom and Shirlee joined the LDS Sorority Lambda
Delta Sigma and enjoyed Institute so much. In1953 and 1954 my mother served as
the President and conisdered it to be another great blessing in her life.
My mother
decided that she needed to go to college so she applied and attended BYU. She lived in Heritage Halls, Snow Hall and
majored in Homemaking Education. She
loved her life at BYU and was very involved in, of course, all the social
events and dances. Despite severe
allergies to what was latter discovered to be to her pillow and the "Utah
seasonal bloomings" her first year was fun enough to return. She spent most of the first year on Benedryl
and frankly didn't get the best grades but
my mom is a fighter. She returned the
second year and her third year ..... as a Junior she came down with measles for
the second time in her life. This was
the very weekend that the Junior class was to "hike the Y" and light
it up. She sadly watched from the
medical center as her class performed this and she was SO sad. The odds were routinely stacked against my
poor mom but she didn't give up And once again, she had wonderful people in her
life to support her and love her -- I think that it made all the difference!
The summer
before her senior year her life would take yet another turn - in a beautiful
direction..... Enter my father. They both were working in the summer at
Capwell's and crossed paths - Mom had ended a rather serious relationship back
at school and was NOT looking for love.
ha ha ha.
They had been
friends in high school and my dad asked her out - she thought, why not? It's just for fun - nothing serious,
right? They had a fun evening and then
-- (from her writings)
"We drove up to the lot where the
Oakland Temple was to be built some time later.
It was a beautiful night and the city looked like a black velvet cloth
with thousands of diamonds scattered on it.
We talked a lot more. We talked
about the stars and the universe and he said, “With all of the millions of
planets you can’t tell me that there is nobody up there,” Well, that struck a
real light in me. Hmmm maybe he would be
interested in hearing more about the Universe."
Mom came home
from that date with lots of pondering to do.
She and Ken both felt pretty strong about a more serious relationship
rather quickly after reuniting. They had
known each other for 8 years now, attending the same high school, common
friends, attending school events, they knew each other very well
...............as friends. But something
changed that night of their first real date. The next day, my father called her
up to ask her to go to the movies (on Sunday)
She said, "No I don't go to movies on Sunday," and he asked why. She said she goes to church so he said, "well,
let's go then." And they did. But soon it was time to head off to that
senior year at BYU. She and my dad sadly
parted but were reunited over Christmas where they both were in agreement that
they would like to marry but it had to be in the temple and dad was not yet a
member of the church.
Dad decided
to enter the Air Force Reserves and that training was 6 months....... but before he left he went to Provo for
Valentines day and officially proposed to my mother. However, there was not a ring just yet. A few
months went by and my mother who was close friends to Tom Stone, the Student
Body President of BYU, was asked by him to attend a big function with him as
his girlfriend had been "campused" for staying out too late. Mom was engaged and she was sure dad wouldn't mind. Well, the very next day - mom's ring arrived
in the mail - she was ecstatic! She
popped that thing on without hesitation.
Well she instantly became unpopular for just a bit as many people
thought that TOM had given her that ring -- and it was pretty confusing. BTW-- Tom did give a ring to Diane and they
were married and have been lifelong friends with my parents since.
Graduation
was 1958 and mom set out to find employment as a teacher and dad was still
in Reserves training. the summer of
1958, dad was baptized in
"champagne" (He likes to say) Illinois, that is. He called mom to tell her and she was so
excited - this meant a year until they could marry in the temple.
Well - you
know the next part of story - they got married
in1959 in the Los Angeles Temple.
With my fathers parents who were not members of the church and my
mothers parents inactive, they traveled to Los Angeles with my moms best friend
Shirlee and her husband and were one of the 250 sealings that day in the
temple.
They had
meager beginnings but mom was use to this, right? She had humble beginnings growing up, a life
of planning and preparing, being frugal and resourceful and paid for her own
college education. She was ready for
this new chapter in her life.
My mother
birthed 2 children- my brother Scott and I - he being the first. And just a few short years into their
marriage they purchased their first home in Pleasant hill California -- just
east of Oakland - a new and budding little community. This was our home for nearly 20 years. Mom loved to sew and cook and she was a
skilled home maker.
When I was
old enough to go to school, mom started her teaching career. I truly believe that all those amazing
teachers she had in her own life really inspired her in this direction. She was a frail, tiny, little girl - shy and
so unsure of herself and she became the woman she was because of loving
teachers and leaders. I think mom wanted
to be that same influence in others lives as well and she was. She taught everything from Preschool to
Junior College - summer school to setting up an experimental Montessori Parent
co-op at the local junior college - with great success. She worked as a teacher for years and
eventually as an administrator at a private Montessori school.
Mom served
for years in the Young Women's program, primary and Relief Society of the
Church. Her love of music, drama and
dance did not get set aside. She was involved in many Roadshows and other performances. A great memory of mine is when she was the Cultural Refinement
instructor for night time Relief Society (women's organization) and she educated herself on each country she was
to teach about - even taking cooking classes in that specific countries food so
she could really give a great experience to the sisters. Thank goodness for her we lived in a place where
it was culturally diverse! In her
later years she became famous in two different wards they lived in - producing
an annual Christmas event with the primary children - A children's Nutcracker
performance. It became tradition in two
of the wards they lived in and the kids still talk about it 15 years
later. She tried hard in the Rexburg
10th ward but I think that her Alzheimer's had gone a bit too far for her to
perform at the level she had been accustomed to which was sad for me to see.
I have fond
memories of my parents being a part of a group called Debonaires - which was a
a large group of about 300 couples from all over the San Francisco bay that
shared the common interest in ballroom dance, Not a performance group but just
a club of sorts. They held dances
several times ayear and they were always a formal event. Big Bands and grand hotels around the city by
the bay and they LOVED those special nights to dress up in formal wear and
dance their shoes off! Mom was a
wonderful seamstress and always had such beautiful gowns to wear.
My mother
loved to entertain and throw parties with my father. They had quite the social life - from fondue
parties in the 60's to new years eve game nights-- they were all about the good
fellowship of friends.
1981 brought
a new a exciting chapter into her life and our family. My father took a new job in the Seattle area
and they moved away from an area they both called home for the better part of
their lives. Their new ward was one of the biggest blessing in both my parents
lives - the next 20+ years my mother and father forged some amazing new
friendships and memories that are so cherished.
During this time my mother also cared for 3 of the four parents she and
my dad had that were still living. All at one point lived in
their home as she graciously and tenderly cared for them until they needed
extensive full time care. Little did I
know that I was receiving special training as a young adult/young married woman. My mother's mother had Alzheimer's and I
learned through watching my mother care for her mother -- lessons I would apply
to our own relationship 20 years down the road.
Mom and dad
both worked in the Seattle Temple for 17 years and when mom was the Stake
Relief Society President - our then stake pres was called to serve as the
mission president of the Budapest Hungary mission and upon my parents
congratulatory handshake he turned to them and said "pack your
bags"...... he wanted them to come with him and they did!
Form
2003-2005 my parents served their mission in Hungary. Mom was rather scared to leave as she had
only flown a few times and NEVER been out of the country but she was a
trooper. When they got to Hungary it was
quite an adjustment as President Clement just told them to do what they do
best. What? They were expecting certain assignments so
this was quite a challenge. So - my
parents did what they do best. The got
actively involved in fellow shipping the members- reaching out - building
bridges of friendship. Mom was a teacher
so, she taught English classes - using The Living Christ as one of the texts. Dad did lots of
membership records work and of course, they fed the missionaries anytime they
could. Mom played, seamstress, cook,
nurse and "mom" to many a missionary and it gave her great joy.
When they
came home we had moved to Rexburg, Idaho and our plan had always been to live close to
each other - especially in their aging years so they once again began a new
journey in their 70's and moved here to Rexburg. As many of you know - just a couple of years
after they moved here we had to move back to Seattle and leave them
behind. I took great comfort knowing
that they had such a wonderful ward, neighbors and community and they would be
safe. I don't know of another place they
could have been that would have been better.
This was the place for them to be at this time in their life
together. I have never doubted that one
at all.
As I was
reading through mom's writings of her personal history it really hit me hard
how deeply she loved the theater, music and dance. My mom had a great passion for this and it
was definitely something that brought her great joy. For a short time I wondered why my mother
didn't pursue a life of theater and performance - a place she adored. Why did she go into teaching? And then it hit me. My mother was a self-less woman with a
greater vision than her own joy. She
wanted to touch the lives of children and others as a teacher - she wanted to
pay it forward. Life is not about what
we accomplish, or titles we earn - but
who we touch and along the way. My
mother understood this and lived true to it.
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